Here are the ones for the weekend a little early then
Newfie Jedi - Star Wars Newfie Joke
You might be a Newfie Jedi if.....
1.You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be witt ya by*'."
2. Your Jedi robe is made of seal skin.
3. You have ever used your light saber to quarter a moose.
4. Both wings of your X-Wing are done over with sheet metal and rivets and are covered with polybond.
5. You have ever eaten bottled Ewok.
6. You have ever used a land-speeder to get away from wildlife officers.
7. The best part of spending time on Dagobah is the great weather.
8. Even C3-PO cannot understand what you are saying.
9. You have used Jedi mind tricks to help you drag off someone from the Sundance (Bar on George Street) and Breezway (University Bar).
10. You have ever used the force to convince a Human Resources Canada officer to give you unemployment insurance checks.
11. Your father has ever said to you, "Come on by' son, come on over 'ere to the dark side and have a Black Horse (Newfoundland brewed beer) witt yer old man."
12. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to scare off mosquitoes on May 24 weekend.
13. You have ever used the Millennium Falcon to smuggle booze and cigarettes from St. Pierre (Island belonging to France just of southern nf coast).
14. You have a Newfoundland dog painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
15. You think Andy Wells (St. John's mayor) and Brian Tobin (nf premier) are part of the dark side of the force.
16. You have ever fantasized about Danielle House wearing her hair like Princess Leia.+
17. You have a trailer hitch on the back of your land speeder for hauling your trailer to gravel pits.
18. Chewbacca is the lead of your dog sled team.
19. You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with snowmobile skis.
20. You were the only person drinking Newfie Screech during the cantina scene.
21. If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father ... tell me what the hell your mother's getting on with by'?!"
"You know you're from Newfoundland when..." JOKE!
You know you're from Newfoundland when....
1. - You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. - You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
3. - The mosquitoes have landing lights.
4. - You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
5. - You have 10 favorite recipes for bottled moose.
6. - Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
7. - You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
8. - You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
9. - Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
10. - You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
11. - You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
12. - The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for local softball scores.
13. - At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
14. - The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
15. - Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
16. - You think the start of salmon fishing season is a national holiday.
17. - You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
18. - You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
19. - You find -40C a little nippy.
20. - The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
21. - You can play road hockey on skates.
22. - You know 4 seasons - Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
23. - The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
24. - You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Newfie friends.
Canada's worst air disaster occurred earlier this morning when a Cessna 152 (a small two-seater plane) crashed into a cemetery in central Newfoundland.
Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 825 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.