15 Reasons Why Canada is Better than your country

[PanzerMeyer]

I'm sure Veg will get a kick out of this.


Canada became a country in 1867 when we filled in the proper forms with the British government.

Our national animal is the beaver. It was chosen as a symbol of our country’s glory for its ability to soar majestically over the landscape on its wide tail.

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police is Canada’s national police force, which along with providing basic local law enforcement duties, also fulfills similar roles to all those American agencies with the letters, like the FBI, DEA and TGI Friday’s.

Due to the tilt of the Earth’s axis, and our northern latitude, during the winter months Canada actually travels backwards in time several days.

The Canadian accent is actually much milder than most Americans imagine, and many Canadians live and work amongst Americans undetected, constantly gathering hair samples.

Yes, hockey is still quite a big deal up here. You should really give it a chance sometime. It’s fast paced and hard-hitting and oh #%&*$# it… I can’t do it any more. Hockey sucks. We admit it.

You can not catch HIV from sitting on a Canadian.

Re: hockey. I’m not kidding. This past season I watched almost no hockey, and it was great. You know what’s better than watching hockey for three hours? #%&*$# anything.

Canada is a constitutional monarchy, which technically means we have to obey the Queen if she orders us to do something. It’s mainly a symbolic thing however, as she rarely exercises the privilege - the last time being in 1978 when she ordered us to execute Gordon Lightfoot.

Measured by landmass, Canada is the second most obese country in the world, after Russia.

The name Canada is derived from the native word ‘Kanata,’ meaning ‘village.’ This name was chosen over the protests of early explorer John Shortcock, who wanting to name it after his wife, lobbied strongly for the name “Mrs. Shortcockland.â€