Military Humor:

[striderteen]

You MIGHT be a little too Hooah if...

Your kids call the sandbox "NTC".

Your wife has mermites in the China Cabinet.

Your older kids call the youngest one "Cherry".

When your wife left you, you had a Change of Command.

Your wife carries a buttpack instead of a Gucci purse.

Your kids would rather get SIMNET than Nintendo 64.

When your family gets together, you call them "Slice Elements".

You butter your toast with a bayonet.

If your kids get a wrong answer in school they immediately drop and knock out 20.

Your personal license plate says "At Ease".

All of your kids' names begin with "AR".

Your grandmother won the Week of the Eagles.

Your POV has your name stenciled on the windshield.

Anyone using the TV remote control must dispatch it first.

Your kids are hand receipt holders.

Your kids practice Drill and Ceremony at recess.

Your dog's name is "Ranger".

Your kids pull night guard shifts by the mailbox.

Your wife has a better high and tight than your commander.

Your kids sound off with "Airborne" or "Air Assault" every time their left foot hits the ground.

Your wife won't buy anything unless it has a National Stock Number.

Your kids have to wax and buff the floor before going to school.

When your dog died, he got a 21-gun salute at Arlington.

Your kids call their teachers "REMFs" and the other kids at school "legs."

Your daughter's dolls wear starched uniforms.

Your daughter complained that her new Barbie's hair wasn't within regulation and then cut it.

If your kids fail a test, they get a Letter of Reprimand and an Article 15.

Your kids salute their grandparents.

Your kids get an LES with their allowance.

All your meals at home are MREs.

Your kids painted their Big Wheels camouflage and stuck bumper numbers on them.

All your household possessions were issued by CIF.

Your kids get sent to the "big house" at Leavenworth if they're disrespectful.

Your kids complain if they can't have gym class five days a week.

Everyone does six pullups before sitting down at the dinner table.

[striderteen]

The 15 Commandments of Operational Security

I. Thou shalt not park thy helicopter in the open, for it bringeth the rain of steel.

II. Thou shalt not expose thy shiny mess gear, for it bringeth unwanted guests to chow.

III. Thou shalt not wear white T-shirts, or thine enemies will dye them red.

IV. Thou shalt provide overhead concealment, for thine enemies' eyes are upon thee.

V. Thou shalt cover thy tall antenna, for fly swatters groweth not in yon wood.

VI. Thou shalt use a red lens on thy flashlight, or it shall appear as a star in the East.

VII. Thou shalt cover the glass on thy vehicle, for the glare telleth thine enemy thy location.

VIII. Thou shalt blend with thy surroundings, for trees groweth not in yon desert.

IX. Thou shalt cover the tracks of thy vehicle, for they draweth pretty pictures.
X. Thou shalt cover thy face, hands, and helmet, for thine enemies maketh war not on bushes.

XI. Thou shalt not drape thy net on thy tent, for it looketh like tent draped in net.

XII. Thou shalt hide the wires of thy cammo, for they pointeth to thee.

XIII. Thou shalt practice the art of dispersion, or one round will finish you all.

XIV. Thou shalt pick up thy trash and litter, for they exposeth thy presence.

XV. Thou shalt conceal the noise of thy generator, for thine enemies are listening.