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Who's on First

Posted: 28 Sep 2005, 09:53
by daofcmacg
Man this is funny as hell. Condelesa Rice and George Bush having a conversation about China.


DA

Whose on First?
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The main man in China!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you, or will you not, tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he's dead in the Middle East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars.

Posted: 28 Sep 2005, 11:51
by KODIAK
Yes, mate! Very good that one, where did HU find that? 8)

Posted: 28 Sep 2005, 11:57
by Jedi Master
LOL

Posted: 28 Sep 2005, 15:36
by daofcmacg
Somebody had it on there blog at yahoo 360. Funny as all get out.

DA

Posted: 28 Sep 2005, 15:41
by daofcmacg
Here's another one.

DA


Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily Iraq briefing. He concludes by saying:
"Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks,
"How many is a brazillion?"

Posted: 29 Sep 2005, 10:20
by KODIAK
We have a poster of "Bush-isms" on our wall in the optronics bay restroom (not washroom!)

Posted: 12 Oct 2005, 12:31
by daofcmacg
Yet another one! They just keep getting better and better!

President Bush was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the
classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and
their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the
discussion on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy."

"No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explained the president. "That's what we would call a great loss."

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Bush searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room a small boy (Lil Johnny) raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: "If Air Force One carrying you and Mrs. Bush was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that
would be a tragedy."

Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?"

"Well," says Lil Johnny, "It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either.

Posted: 13 Oct 2005, 10:05
by KODIAK
OMG!! That was bloody funny mate.

Posted: 13 Oct 2005, 11:48
by daofcmacg
It takes the innocence of a child to display the courage of how we think and feel. I hope this statement dosen't earn me the honor and privledge of a visit from our fine Secret Service. :lol: :D :roll: :twisted:

Posted: 16 Oct 2005, 07:53
by KODIAK
It takes the innocence of a child to display the courage of how we think and feel. I hope this statement dosen't earn me the honor and privledge of a visit from our fine Secret Service.
. . . . no. But I'm guessing that kid's card is marked now! :lol: You can expect to see him in the news for something that will help them make him disappear - you know, maybe he'll have been caught stealing military secrets and get 25 years or be labelled a spy and sentenced to death for multiple murder of various secret agents that went missing . . .etc., :shock: :wink: Am sure you get the idea.