Dear sir I write this note to you to tell you of me plight
For at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
Me body is all black and blue, me face is deadly grey
And I write this note to say why Paddy's not at work today
Whilst working on the fourteenth floor some bricks I had to clear
To haul them down from such a height was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased, the bloody awkward sod
He said I'll have to cart them down the ladders in me hod
Now clearing all those bricks by hand it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below
But in my haste to do the job I was so blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me
So when I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
Well I shot up like a rocket 'til my dismay I found
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down
The barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley on me head
I hung on tightly, numb with shock from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks fourteen floors below
And when the bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and started down once more
Still hanging tightly to the rope my body wracked with pain
When halfway down I met the bloody barrel once again
The force of this collision halfway down the office block
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock
Still clinging tightly to the rope I sped towards the ground
And landed on the broken bricks the barrel scattered round
I lay there rolling on the ground I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn't got a hope
As I lay there screaming on the ground I let go the bloody rope
And the barrel then being heavier, it started down once more
And it landed right on top of me as I lay across the floor
It broke two ribs and my left arm, and I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today
Glas