"Convoy" Battletech parody

[Buffalo Six]

Found this on CBT.com

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On June 6th, 3021, merchants of the Draconis Combine's Rasalhague Principality staged a massive demonstration of civil disobedience --- shipping unauthorized, although profitable, cargoes --- which prompted a military response across ten systems. Although quickly covered up by Draconis authorities, recent good relations between the Combine and its neighbor states in the face of the mutual Clan threat have opened various records to public scrutiny.

While the Merchant Rebellion of 3021 was short-lived, it was certainly dramatic, involving not only major JumpShip and DropShip lines but also small transport operations and even light non-commercial civilian craft. The events were chronicled in part by songwriter Cheryl Winter MacComb as follows:

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[Citizen's Band Radio Frequency Chatter]
Ah, breaker one-nine, this here's the Rubber Duck. You gotta copy on me, Pig Pen, c'mon? Ah, yeah, 10-4, Pig Pen, fer shure, fer shure. By golly, it's clean clear to drop pad, c'mon. Yeah, that's a big 10-4 there, Pig Pen, yeah, we definitely got the front door, good buddy. Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a convoy...

We clipped the moon on the sixth of June
With a Union haulin' logs
An Icebreaker Mule with a reefer on
And a Mammoth callin' hogs

We was headin' fer Dawn at a half a G
'Bout an AU off th' ground
I says, "Pig Pen, this here's the Rubber Duck.
And I'm about to put the hammer down."

[Chorus]
'Cause we got a little convoy
Thrustin' through the night.

Yeah, we got a little convoy,
Ain't she a beautiful sight?

Come on and join our convoy
Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way.

We gonna jet this merchant convoy
'Cross Rasalhague t'day
Convoy!

[Citizen's Band Radio Frequency Chatter]
Ah, breaker, Pig Pen, this here's the Duck. You wanna back off them hogs? Yeah, 10-4, 'bout ten AU or so. Ten, roger. Them Dracs is gettin' in-tense up here.

By the time we lifted fer Predlitz
We had eighty-five ships in all.
But they's a blockade short of th' pirate point,
And them Dracs was wall-to-wall.

Yeah, them Dragons was thick as fuel gel
Stukas flyin' 'round in pairs,
I says, "Callin' all trucks, this here's the Duck.
We about to go a-huntin' bear."

[Chorus]
'Cause we got a great big convoy
Thrustin' through the night.

Yeah, we got a great big convoy,
Ain't she a beautiful sight?

Come on and join our convoy
Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way.

We gonna jet this merchant convoy
'Cross Rasalhague t'day
Convoy!

[Citizen's Band Radio Frequency Chatter]
Ah, you wanna give me a 10-9 on that, Pig Pen? Negatory, Pig Pen; you're still too close. Yeah, them Dracs is startin' to close up my sinuses. Mercy sakes, you better back off another ten.

Well, we blasted straight through ta Engadin
Left behind smokin' trails,
An' tore up our registrations,
Just ta tweak th' Dragon's scales.

By the time we hit ol' Radstadt,
Them Dracs was a-gettin' smart:
They'd brought up some reinforcements
From th' Zhang Academy bars.

There's armored tanks, and troops with guns,
And 'Mechs of ev'ry size.
Yeah, them starport docks was full'a Dracs
And fighters filled the skies.
Well, we punched th' stratospheric line
With a thousand screamin' Drops
An' eleven long-robed friends a' Buddha
In a rainbow shuttle-bus.

[Citizen's Band Radio Frequency Chatter]
Ah, Rubber Duck to Sodbuster, come over. Yeah, 10-4, Sodbuster? Lissen, you wanna put that shuttle-bus in behind that suicide jockey? Yeah, he's haulin' dynamite, and he needs all the help he can get.

Well, we laid a course fer Tamar
Prepared ta jump th' hill
We could see the tolls were lined with Dracs
But we didn't have a damn K-Bill.

I says, "Pig Pen, this here's the Rubber Duck.
"We just ain't a-gonna pay no toll."
So we crashed the gate doin' Gravity Eight
I says "Let them merchants roll, 10-4."

[Chorus]
'Cause we got a mighty convoy
Thrustin' through the night.

Yeah, we got a mighty convoy,
Ain't she a beautiful sight?

Come on and join our convoy
Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way.

We gonna jet this merchant convoy
'Cross Rasalhague t'day!


Convoy!
Ah, 10-4, Pig Pen, what's your twenty?
Convoy!
DUSTBALL? Well, they oughta know what to do with them hogs out there fer shure.
Convoy!
Well, mercy sakes, good buddy, we gonna back on outta here, so keep the bugs off your glass and the Dracs off your... tail.
Convoy!
We'll catch you on the flip-flop. This here's the Rubber Duck on the side.
Convoy!
We gone bye-bye!



"Expect the worst, and you will not be disappointed"

[Featherhorse]

Uh, Yeah.
Little Jewish kid with the sibko of "Weird AL", makes a pretty good living out of it.

Hehe, I get your intent. Sounds like fun.

"Star League to Heaven" anybody?

Fethr