Joke of the Day

[PanzerMeyer]

This is great!


On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:

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two Italian men and one Italian woman
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two French men and one French woman
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two German men and one German woman
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two Greek men and one Greek woman
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two English men and one English woman
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two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman
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two Japanese men and one Japanese woman
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two Chinese men and one Chinese woman
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two American men and one American woman
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two Irish men and one Irish woman




One month later on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

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One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
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The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois.
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The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
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The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
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The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
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The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean and another long look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming.
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The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.
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The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy/liquor/ convenience store/restaurant/laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their store.
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The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, because the American woman keeps on complaining about her body, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, all the sales she's missing, how her relationship with her mother is improving, and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining. The American woman, meanwhile, watches the men fart and scratch.
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The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey. But they're satisfied, because at least the English aren't having any fun.

[Buffalo Six]

A man boarded a plane with 6 kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked,'Are all of those kids yours?'

He replied, 'No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.'

[VEGETA]

Since I have been in motorcycle fourms I have a few




A biker is riding along a country lane, when a sparrow flies up in front of him. The biker can't do anything and hits the sparrow. As he looks in his rear view mirror, he sees the sparrow lying in the road. Being the kind of guy he is, he stops, picks up the sparrow and takes it home and puts it in a cage, still in a coma. When the sparrow wakes up the following morning, he looks through the bars of the cage and says, "DANG, I must have killed the biker".

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A biker is riding a new motorcycle on the highway.

While passing a car, he knocks on the window. The driver of the car
opens the window and says, "Yes?" The bike responds, "Ever driven a
Honda motorcycle?" The driver says, "No I haven't."

The biker drives on, until he sees the next car. While passing it, he
knocks on the window. The driver of the car opens the window and says,
"Yes?" The bike responds, "Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?" The driver
says, "No I haven't."

Then, suddenly, there is a curve, the biker sees it too late. He crashes
off the road into a ditch. A car stops and a man runs to the unlucky
biker. Covered in blood and surely dying, the biker asks, "Ever driven a
Honda motorcycle?" The man replies, "Yes I have. I had a Honda for 20
years". The biker asks, "Where are the brakes?"

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A vey unkempt old biker chick wanders into a bar. She steps up to the bar and raises her arm yellling, "Would any of you gentlemen like to by me a drink"? She's sleeveless and is sporting quite a bit of unattractive armpit hair. The guy next to her buys her a drink just so that she'll put her arm down and hopefully go away. She downs her drink & up goes her arm again yelling. "Who else will be kind enough to buy me a drink?"

Way down the end of the bar an old drunk about to fall off his stool says "I'll buy the little ballerina a drink. In fact I'll buy her two. Make it three.", he says. The bartender walks down to the drunk, sees that he has enough money to buy the drinks and can't help but ask the drunk what makes him refer to her as a ballerina.

"Well", the drunk says, "anyone who can get their leg up that high must be a ballerina."


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[Softball]

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Men Never Listen

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament. 'Sir,' she said 'You may use the ladies' room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall.'

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW , WA , PP, and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them? He couldn't resist. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. 'What a nice feeling,' he thought. 'Mens' restrooms don't have nice things like this.'

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flowers to this unbelievable pleasure. The ladies' restroom was more than a restroom; it is a tender, loving pleasure treat.

When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes. He was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him. 'What happened?' he exclaimed. 'The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.' 'The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow.' MEN NEVER LISTEN
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